I think husbands have a tough job. A job I am glad was not assigned to me. When God instructs husbands to lead their
families, I can only imagine what a huge responsibility that truly is. I know I would be asking things like: What if I mess up? What if I lead them the wrong direction? What if I just don’t want that much
responsibility?
“Tough! ” That’s what
I really want to say. Tough love,
right? I often ask God to line out each
person’s responsibilities in this family.
Please make me a checklist, God, so I can point to the ones my husband
needs to accomplish…keeping in mind that my list will just stay in my back
pocket, because I’m pretty sure I’m okay to continue slinging scripture at
him. It’s his fault if it doesn’t
stick.
I hope you sense my sarcasm in the last paragraph. Let me paint you a mental picture. (Sorry, I’m about as good at art as I am at
writing, so good luck!)
Last night, my husband and I had a fight…I mean a quiet
little disagreement. This doesn’t happen
a lot, but it escalated to a point that neither of us are proud of. We were arguing over the TV. I had decided TV was just the devil inside a
box that we choose to turn on and let corrupt our minds and he did not
agree. We spent the better part of an
hour accusing each other of things and going nowhere with the
conversation. I was bitter by his
stubbornness and he was frustrated from being told what to do. I won’t go into any more details, but let’s
just say while I was arguing about the benefits of letting go of the TV to
focus more on God, my actions and words didn’t sound like I had focused on
Him.
So, what happens when we feel our husbands aren’t leading
like they should? Do we abandon hope to
sit back and wait to see what he does next?
Do we pelt him with scripture until he gives in? Do we forget about him and go hang out with
people we deem more godly? I thought his
responsibility was hard, but how many times have you followed a leader you
disagreed with? That can be pretty hard
too. Even Christians will abandon the
one and only sovereign God when they begin to disagree.
Let’s take a look at the first lady. Not the one married to the president; the
real first lady, Eve. When Eve sinned,
her husband wasn’t around. So it is very
easy for me to stop there and point a finger at Adam for not being the perfect
leader. I’ve learned that leaders
shouldn’t have to be there every moment of the day to actually be a good
leader, but that is another discussion for another time. And yes, Adam played a part in it all, but let’s
move further in the story.
Not only did Eve sin, she urged Adam to sin along with
her. My mind quickly goes back to any
argument I have ever had with my husband.
Was I pushing him in the wrong direction? Have my urgencies to change something kept
him on God’s path or have I led him to something I just thought was
better?
Go back to our argument.
Even if I was pushing us all back to God, I didn’t talk to God about it
first. I didn’t pray before “laying down
the law” (which is not what I intended, but was sure stating my case enough to
sound like it). I didn’t pray that God
would open all of our eyes and hearts to His will so He could lead us instead
of us playing tug-of-war with the issue.
If I had prayed first, God might have urged me to wait or would have
given me the words needed so it didn’t turn into a fight. So there was MY first mistake. Shhh…we can keep all my mistakes quiet.
Ok, back to Eve. I
read a book recently that talked about the guilt Eve must have felt after the incident. One sin created the fall of man. One sin that separated them from God. Let me say it again…ONE…ONE sin! What a burden to carry! Knowing what you’ve lost and that you were
the reason for losing it…for EVERYONE! Not
just her and Adam, but for mankind! YIKES! Here’s where Adam comes in. He could have stopped it, but he trusted Eve
like we ask our husbands to trust our opinions.
Well, crud. That means she still
played a HUGE role in his actions even though he had a choice.
We plea for our husbands to trust us and value our opinions,
but I’m not sure we realize what a HUGE responsibility that is! I don’t think we even comprehend the gravity
of that responsibility! If we mentally
thought our every move or decision might just result in the fall of our family,
we might change the way we approach our marriage. No more sling shots of scripture. No more trampling on our husbands to get our
voices heard. No more moaning and
complaining about oppression and liberation.
Maybe there would be more praying for our family and before
we speak. More God-led decisions rather
than emotional ones. Maybe we would lift
up our husbands to God more. Maybe we
wouldn’t buy into the feminist movements where we can “do it on our own” or
“behind every great man is a great woman”.
Maybe we would not think of our husbands as puppets and think more of
them as a miraculous creation by God for the specific purpose to lead us. Maybe we would trust God more to change him
if it’s needed rather than changing him with our convincing argument.
Maybe the saying should be “behind every godly man is a
praying woman”.
~Lisa K. Winnett~
August 4, 2012
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